SOCIAL ETHICS - Diary of a Champion of Domestic Violence Abuse.

This blog post is about a person related to me. She is my sister Sakina MBV. The relation has been a very close one and therefore has touched a chord in my heart and I feel it so intensely now that it needs to be voiced out into the outside world.

This is an answer also to those persons who believe that the ‘why’, ‘how’ and ‘what’ of seeking help by an aggrieved person from the protectors of law in our society has to be justified always.   

So we begin this account/saga from its initial stage. A girl falls in love with a boy. Starting off as a light romantic comedy - simply a friendship that turns into a courtship and then marriage finally settling down into a family, is not as simple an ending for this 30-year old and her two children. They wouldn’t have imagined a dark reality in store for them!  

The Question

The Question is that why did she decide to join into a holy matrimony with a guy who was more a macho and less a husband? Why did she choose to marry him? The answer to this question comes in much later, so keep reading.

Dark Incidents

Shown the way out of her matrimonial home, this mother without her belongings and her two children, was made homeless overnight.

The incident triggered off a series of events with the first one being the husband barging into the maiden house of the wife on the very next day in an obvious attempt to create a hullabaloo by demanding to take away the eldest child. At that time for any mother what will be her top-most priority? Of course, it will be the wellbeing of her children at all times. Then would she not defend her children from the same person who on the previous night threw them out heartlessly from their rightful home? And then amidst the rendering of horrified screams, blood and tears flowed freely but that night the child was successfully protected from all evils by the strength of her mother’s will and the magnanimous support of the child’s maternal grandparents. 

The reason why help was sought from Police?

When it pains the obvious reaction is to express it.  Whether it is to speak up verbally or to seek help from a neighbor/friend; ask support from our society or to reach out to the dutiful police – every act reinstates faith in humanity that if at any time a person is in trouble and seeks to reach out for help then the neighbor/friend, the society or the law is there to help rescue him. No man (in this context a woman) will ever be an island because this is the support that backs him. So if it is natural to ask in order to receive, then why should some persons have reservations when any aggrieved person seeks the same from the rightful guardian of law in our civilized society also known as the Police?

Getting guidance from the Court of Justice

When something goes wrong, the instinct is to correct it and to bring it back on track. And seeking to deserve justice is one of (its) parameters. This should be the truest dimension of what is called democracy. Rather unfortunately, what seems to be an easy task, seeking justice in a democratic setup has been far from a runaway victory. Enduring difficulty & resistance, this is a tough battle which is backed by the pillar of a steely determination and a strong support-system.

Love may be blind but justice is not

Remember a question was raised in the early part of this article – about why did she choose to marry a person who was more a macho and less a husband? The answer comes here. A relationship that was shaky from the very beginning, she chose to go ahead with it anyway only because there was pressure from all sides. One was in the form of an engagement which stretched as long as six years.

The second was from the guy himself – he worked an emotional blackmail, he kept saying that he would give up his life if she left him.

But what was more important was the girl’s own value systems - which spoke of long-term commitment, patience and hope in a potentially disturbed relationship, making her go ahead and say yes to the marriage.  

What the husband gave in return was – betrayal, unhappiness and suffocative obsession which made her to take a decision to step out of the relation and step ahead in life.

THINK about it, It’s NO MORE just SOMEONE ELSE’S CASE

Today when you go back to the routine of your everyday life think and ask yourself if you are at essence a truly enlightened citizen of a nation which prides itself to be a democratically second largest in the world? If so, then why do people have an inhibition when a person who is victim to injustice or unfairness chooses to make use of the same tools that democracy has provided with?

This blog-post is dedicated to a very special friend PAYAL PADAM. The sudden loss of this special person has left a huge vacuum in all our lives and more so in the lives of her son and her father.       ALIFIA M.B.V